seeing color

I write this from the bottom of my heart as I have been struggling. I try not to voice my opinions too much on social media, but for this I have to say something. Why? My family is multiracial. My son is black. My daughter is white. We SEE color. Our family is a beautiful mix and I would not want it any other way. I have read posts on instagram that I know people are trying to be supportive and write the correct verbiage, but there still needs to be education. One girl I adore and follow stated,  "I pray my children do not see color or race." For me, I pray my children do see color and race as that is how we are all so uniquely made. Like the beautiful children's song goes, "Jesus loves the little children, red and yellow black and white they are precious in His sight, Jesus loves the little children of the world." I know she didn't mean any harm, however I do believe we need to speak up and educate.

My heart breaks for this country and for those that have been so affected by tragedy. I don't understand. I don't think I ever will. I do believe I am more aware, because of my family dynamics and I couldn't be more grateful. I didn't know how God would put certain trials in my life that literally turned into a magnititude of the biggest gifts I could receive. Before we adopted I think with a humble heart I would have responded as the girl above did. I do believe our hearts are all the same and from the inside we look the same. The outside is what makes us so wonderfully different no matter what we look like.

There was a beautiful girl in my yoga class the other day who was black and so beautiful. I walked up to her and said you are so beautiful. She literally looked shocked and had the most beautiful smile and lit the room up. I wanted to just embrace her!!!

Let's work together as a community. Go above and beyond with your friends who look different then you. They might have a disability, they might talk differently, have beautiful black skin, white skin. WE all are human and have strengths and weaknesses. Lets come together and build each other up and make those weaknesses into our strengths.

xo jennifer

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marriage....being aware. loving through.

When I think of my husband I literally get giddy. I smile and think, why me? How did I get so blessed? I believe God had a plan and I was aware. Aware of when the right man walked into my life because I could have chosen another path....

Early on in our marriage I had a difficult time of understanding why he didn't do what I wanted him to do. Sound familiar? I just expected him to have the same expectations I did. Not reality ladies, not reality. It took me years of understanding, learning and maturing. I am still in the process as I believe I always will be growing in this area, but I am aware. Aware of the good, aware of the expectations and aware of what our marriage can handle.

Being aware of our downfalls gives us the ability to give ourselves grace when matters are different than we would expect. I am emotional. My husband is not. Sound familiar?  I could never understand why he just wouldn't cry with me. I would even beg sometimes..... could we just cry together I would cry out!!!!! Seriously!!!? Would be his answer. We have had to learn how to communicate when I am more on the emotional side and it has been a process of being aware, communicating and learning from each other. 

During my 4 years of health issues I had difficulty understanding why he couldn't be home with me more. He had started a business and we had to survive. I didn't have my second baby that I yearned for and had a husband that was gone 12 hours a day and my body hurt. I look back and wish I would have given myself grace then. I had so many expectations on me, my husband and my body. I would put blame on the one person who gave me this biggest security in the world and would put him down. Ladies!!!! The biggest thing I have learned through these experience's is to build your husband up. NO matter how you feel or what the circumstance is. We had some icky times in those years. Building him up instead of complaining would have been such an encouragement in so many of those darker days.

One of the most lovely things I adore about my husband is his willingness to learn and grow. He has taught me to be a better listener and communicator. Not only with him, but our children and family and friends. I have learned so many things from this love of my life and I thank him for always standing up for our marriage first.

Marriage is like an ocean. The waves go up, they come crashing down. Sometimes it is wild and crazy, sometimes it is as calm and still. Above all, it does become a choice of how we are going to react to situations, how we are going to encourage and how we are going to deal with hardships.

Love is a roller coaster......always be aware of the twists and turns. Look towards the finish line. Never give up.

Have a beautiful day darlings.

xo Jennifer

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